


What You Lost (And What You Found)

by SailorOfTheBlues



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Family, Five Stages of Grief, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27856209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SailorOfTheBlues/pseuds/SailorOfTheBlues
Summary: The Marineford War was the end and beginning of Eras, and with its raging fire, sometimes it’s easy to forget what truly ignited it. The tragedy everyone watched like a spectacle worldwide, the death of Gol D. Ace.Except… He isn’t really dead.Well, he isn’t alive either.(Don't worry the oc doesn't really have much place in the story, they're just a narrative device)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	1. unang yugto ng dalamhati: pagtanggi (1)

The taste of ash and copper dripped inside his mouth, the muffled noises ringing in his ears, where he can't quite make out any words but hear them too clear, the thick lump in his throat as he finally gave his last breath, his last vivid memories as he felt himself letting go, the ropes of life getting too slippery to hold on—the Son of the Demon, as the world knew him, left the battlefield as a cold and mutilated _corpse_.

Victory, the world would sing, as they had thought to finally put an end to the bloodline that started the wars and deaths around the world for decades. Ace knew that was what his death was worth to every eyes that speculated the bloodbath that was known as the Marineford War, but, to his surprise, he didn't seem to care as much as he had. Not when a whole armada of people willingly put their lives as a payment to his singular one, not when his brother, his not-so weak little brother, marched through depths of hell and through deadly obstacles, just to get to him. No. Ace uttered his gratitude, with a smile, everything finally making sense after all these time.

So, Ace left, finally free.

* * *

"Hey."

He felt a foot kick his side. Ace stirred.

"Sleeping is for people who are _alive."_ The entity snapped.

"Marco, go away..." he mumbled, turning his back, "I'm sleepin'..."

His eyes flew open, as he sat up with the speed of an unloaded spring.

Ace felt the breeze.

"Hey, man, wake up." The person sighed. "Come on, I don't have all day."

Breeze that turned into a freezing sinking feeling at the pit of his stomach, or where his stomach was _supposed_ to be.

"C'mon now, you took that blow willingly, ya' cunt. Get up I am a busy man and you are taking my time."

Ace couldn't hear him though, his shocked ridden mind was busy trying to process the feeling of his soldered insides and the gaping hole through him. Dazed, he lifted his shaking arm inside it, and alas, his hand went through. Confirming all of his worst fears as a shiver ran down his spine in the horrifying realization of the cost of his mortality.

He was clean, Ace distantly noted, as though he was a voice separated from his mind, none were the blood that was supposed to coat his injury, nor the grime and dirt in his hostile stay at Impel down.

Ace blinked, eyes sharpening as skeletal fingers were snapped at his face with an irate " _Hey_ , pay attention."

Voice thick, he asks, "Am I... dead?"

"No, because people survive with literal baked organs and a gaping hole through their torso."

Ace scowled. "What's your problem?"

"You, obviously." He snapped.

"Listen here-"

"No, _you_ listen. Portgas D. Ace, you shouldn't exist."

Ace's temper flared, he gritted his teeth, arms raised in a fist, angled in a hook, he ignited his flames, "You, bast-"

He paused.

There were no flames.

The familiar heat that calmed the raging blizzard in his mind in dark nights and was a warm embrace to the people he loved, _gone_.

"What the hell?"

The man continued, unfazed, as he crossed his arms, "Thousands of souls have already left with their guides, yet you remain here, tethered."

The man looked to the side, seeing nothing but rubble and Marines slugging around as they cleaned the dead and helped the injured. He pursed his lips, "I'll admit it is on our behalf. Such idiotic careless act shouldn't have happened in the first place. Too much souls had to be reaped, I'm afraid. Whitebeard's protection had been one that saved countless lives in this chaos, when he left, so were the shields to the civilians."

Ace couldn't help it, maybe it was the shock, maybe he just didn't want to acknowledge anything yet, but he laughed.

Laughed like a mad man, hysterical.

"You guys are Death," he breathed, "doing this gig for who knows how long-"

"And you forgot to take the soul of the instigator? Wow and I thought I could be bad at my job."

Death, as Ace called him at least, didn't seem to appreciate the sentiment, or the mad mockery this mortal is giving him.

"We were _busy_." He gritted.

Ace only laughed harder.

"A slaughter like that hasn't happened since those three monsters became Yonkos. My men weren't prepared."

He wiped a tear off his eyes, still chuckling.

Death looked at the people, shouting. A commotion was brewing.

Ace finally calm, he focused his eyes on the man, grinning, eyes almost unblinking.

Death sighed. "As I was saying, your soul is tethered and that's a problem."

"Yeah?" There were more shouting.

"You can't pass if your soul is still with a live vessel, and yours has already been reborn with your devil fruit."

Ace blinked, thinking how that was even possible, should he even be surprised? The New World didn't know what normal is either.

"I'm the Mera Mera no Mi now?"

"Yes."

"Then where is it?"

Death pointed at the Marine corpse, laying at his stomach. "There's a fruit in his pocket. Idiot thought he might get something nice if a user dies. Didn't count on his death, however."

"Huh." Ace noised.

He crouched at the corpse. He lifted his arm to try and get it, but his hand went through.

"You're incorporeal." Death informed him.

"Huh."

"As guides, it is our task to inform the dead of their paths, guide them to wherever they will go, and as of now... This is where you will go."

They watched as the corpse gets picked up by other Marines, with it, Ace's body moved, sliding with wherever the fruit will go. Ace noted this.

" _Wow_." He laughed bitterly, "All of that and I can't even die properly. The universe hates me so much, huh?"

"There will be gaps in your memory as of now, but whether you will retain them as time goes on or if you are to be freed as well when you are eaten, is remained to be a mystery."

Ace's eyes trailed at the man's pockets, where he is supposed to be, "Let me guess, I'm the first one to be in this circumstance?"

"Yes."

Ace snorted.

"And I can't do anything but exist?"

Death looked at him thoughtfully, "At the moment, yes. When your fruit is eaten, there might be more."

"Neat." he sighed, "Just _neat_."

"Why, were you planning to look around?" Death glanced at the now much cleaner Marineford. Still in shambles, but there's an improvement at least.

Ace's eyes didn't flicker.

"No."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Can't believe I'm writing for this fandom again. Well, that's fun. I will be a lot rusty, so my apologies, lovelies.
> 
> There will be 10 chapters if my plan goes right, but as with every pantser would say, sometimes the words would take a life of their own, so, that's that.
> 
> Leave a review :)


	2. unang yugto ng dalamhati: pagtanggi (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Denial is the first step of grief.

As it turned out, Ace wasn't as bothered as he expected to be about his predicament. He doesn't know if he should be scared by that.

Not being able to freely move around wasn't much a problem either. Ace noted idly, his body slouched and sat by the side of the stranger, his knees pulled to his chest and eyes at the floor. He doesn't know how long it has been since he bothered to stand up. It doesn't matter, though. It's not like he has anywhere to go. It's not like he wanted to sight see.

He should be more bothered, Ace knows, he _should_.

Doesn't change the emptiness in his chest.

So, he sat.

Just... existing.

He breathed, in,

Out.

In,

Out.

Somehow each breath becomes increasingly suffocating.

Staring at the dirt under his feet, still. Alone. The quiet ringing like a scream in placid white walls of faceless casualties covered in bloody white zipped bags, many, _too many_ , to be just stuffed in a room shrouded in unsympathetic darkness.

His mouth feels dry. 

He breathed in,

Out,

In,

Out.

He should be tired. He isn't.

He should be crying, feel something. He doesn't.

He should have been better. He isn't.

~~He shouldn't have been born.~~

"---calm down."

Breathe in,

Out,

In,

Out,

"Before you do something you'd regret."

In,

Out.

"I can't do this anymore, Sengoku."

In.

"I understand but you know what it means if _you_ leave."

"I'm tired of symbolizing the justice this organization doesn't even believe in."

Out.

Their footsteps, too loud and angry for the silence, marched too close for Ace to be comfortable with. Still, he sat.

There was a frown on the fleet admiral's mouth. He glanced at Ace's side.

"You know what the job entailed from the beginning, Garp."

"I know." Garp grounded, sounding too quiet to be something that had come out of his mouth. "I tried."

Ace didn't stir, his emotions felt as though it had been blanketed with a thick fog. Though it was not his own. Despite every reason he should, facing the man who took him under his wing when the demon selfishly told him he had a son he was leaving, a wife, alone in her island--nobody who could even defend her had it not been to her unbreakable will. Ace also knew and saw Garp gritting his teeth, shoving every fiber of his body to do what he is meant to do as a Marine, i ~~n the war~~.

Ace shuts his eyes. 

Sengoku sighed, a pained look briefly flashing in his face, Ace doesn't know for who. The man looked away.

"Just don't murder Sakazuki."

Garp snorted.

He crossed his arms. "Surely you've not gotten sentimental like Tsuru." He teased.

Sengoku rolled his eyes. "You almost went for him, Garp." 

Garp went silent.

"They're planning to cover up the escapes, aren't they? Those scumbags... Can you really still serve them after everything, Senny?"

Sengoku didn't respond.

"The bastard is the slimiest and boldest one in a while, but he's right. Our era is over. Only a fool's going to believe things would get better after that."

The conditioner hummed. 

Sengoku pulled out a bag of rice crackers then threw it to him. "Whole place is in rubbles because of that scumbag. I don't want to see you anywhere up until you finish that."

Cheekily, he grinned, "See? Sentimental."

Sengoku didn't respond and instead turned to leave. His footsteps slowly fading quieter and quiteter, drowned by hiccups and hums of the air conditioner. 

Ace looked up, glancing at Garp.

Ace wasn't so sure about eating in the morgue, being filled by dead people you knew and all. However, Ace didn't miss the clouded haze in his eyes as he quietly nibbled on the crackers on hand. A faraway look, as though he doesn't realize where he is either. Or care for that matter.

"Ace..." he sighed. 

Ace tensed, peering up on him once more. 

"I'm sorry."

Garp buried his face in his hands, voice hitching. "Those bastards..."

He sucked in a breath as he looked up, eyes red. "I'm _so_ sorry."

Garp stared at nothing. 

"If both of you and Luffy just..." there were tears down his cheeks. "You wouldn't have to make this old man cry."

Ace huffed, a bitter laugh from his mouth. He died. Right. The concept is still a hazy idea for him. 

Garp snapped his head to where he sat.

Ace sat up, tensed.

Does he...?

Garp stood up, slowly looming nearer and nearer. 

Ace breath hitched.

Garp stopped.

"Gramps?"

Garp crouched down and reached for the man's pockets, fishing the Mera Mera no mi. 

Ace deflated.

Garp frowned, closely inspecting the fruit, as if searching for something. "I swear I---" he muttered before they turn, hearing hurried footsteps, and a pink haired boy emerged from the halls. 

The boy stood rigid, saluting, before exclaiming, "Garp-san! They're calling the vice admirals and admirals to the south port."

Garp stuffed the fruit in his jacket. He grinned. "Brat. You're not shitting your pants?"

The boy laughed nervously. 

He guffawed. "You're a ballsy kid, a good head on you too. Still a snot nosed brat, though."

The boy blushed.

"Alright." Garp marched ahead, "I would put you in harder training if I was still here."

Ace gets pulled by the Mera Mera no mi at his Gramps' pocket. He slid, still sitting, with them.

"You're leaving, Garp-san?" He asked worriedly.

"Doubt those fools would be easy about it." Garp answered, "but I'm leaving."

He seemed disappointed. "Oh."

Slowly, the chipping walls and cold halls faded and Ace's face was hit by blinding sun once again. As though it was mocking him. As if having no autonomy on his freedom hadn't been enough. 

It was bitter and easier to latch on than seeing Garp quit something he upheld and built for almost all of his life ~~the for someone who had deserved ig for being a brash hot headed idiot and dying because of that.~~

His body hits broken gravel and still, he refused to look up and acknowledge the surroundings. He will not, cannot.

He knows he should, just like how he should be more reacting that Garp got him now. 

Ace hates himself because he doesn't.

Until he felt fat wet drops from his cheeks.

Bitterly, he laughed. Even his emotions are fucked up now.

"Oh and Coby." Garp paused, looking too secretive for the man, "Watch this for me for a while."

Garp tossed it and the boy almost didn't catch it. When he did, Coby's eyes flew open, shocked. "This is Fire Fist Ace's devil fruit!"

He shushed him, frantic. 

"But sir!" Coby sputtered, "it's code to surrender any devil fruits that have been discovered by any personnel."

Garp sighed, scratching the back of his head. His face morphing into uncertainty and sadness. Ace looked away.

Coby paused, looking at Garp, before he stuffed it in his pocket. "It's safe with me, Garp-san."

He grinned, wordlessly tapping his shoulder as the Vice Admiral went ahead to the port. "Get some rest for a while, boy."

Coby saluted, despite the other not seeing it.

He tapped the fruit. 

"Gol D. Ace... I wonder how Luffy-san is doing." 

Coby walked off to the other troops.

Ace choked.

Luffy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not gonna lie, this was an interesting write. I haven't written vivid feeling passages in a while and Like I said, I'm really rusty. Trying to write Ace dissociating was a challenge and a pain, but hey! This is why I'm writing, to practice and exercise! To procrastinate from school too. Also Garp is hard as balls to write, like holy fuck. I'm so glad I decided this would be canon divergent and not canon compliant.
> 
> Leave a review :)


	3. author's note

Author: To the folks who had been notified in email for an update, had to take chapter 3 down, just need some minor fixing =) would be up soon, sorry for the inconvenience, folks.


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